More or less.

There are some things in life that I would never change. I would never change the parents I grew up with. My mother with dirt on her hands from spending precious time working the earth, and my father's hands caked in bike grease. We always had good food to eat, and a bicycle to ride. I would never change the holiday memories I have. Many Christmas trees have been ingrained into my mind, and this year will be my first of having my very own tree. I would not change the hours I read when I was younger, or the art I drew, or the paper dolls that I so lovingly crafted with my smallish hands. I would not change the siblings I received, for each life was such an exquisite addition to my own life. Without my sisters and brother I would be an only child. I would not change the nights that I spent bike riding with my dad through the neighborhood. Changing my mother's laugh would be absurd, and I cannot imagine not indulging in the many homemade soups and breads and hamburger helper that I ingested as a child. How I got to know Jesus would be the same, and I would in a heartbeat relearn all of the instruments that had fallen into my lap. I have been a blessed woman.

Some things I would change though. I would have spent more time gardening in the yard with my mother, learning about trees and peonies and roses and green beans. With my father I would have spent more time playing cards and chess and watching more football. I would have fought less/bit less/hit less my sisters. I would have let them in my room and shared my clothing with them, even when I knew something was going to be torn to shreds or stained. I would have written them more letters about being women, and finding love. More time drawing would have been spent with my brother, or playing legos, rather than gluing myself to facebook for hours having chat sessions with people who do not care about me anymore. I would not have screamed at my parents or told them foolish teenage things. I would erase the hours of music that I so melancholily listened to by myself at the foot of my bed.  I would have loved Jesus more, and spoken less of what I thought was 'the right way' to believe. I would have flirted less, and friended more. More time at the beach would have been inhaled. More tea drunk. More babies held. More prayers prayed. Less of myself. I would have stopped thinking about myself for so many hours. Less looks in the mirror. More lipstick worn. Modesty would have multiplied.

These are just some things that I wish I had done differently. Don't make my same mistakes.
In the end though. We will all cherish and regret.
That is the thing worth cherishing.

Love,
Ria.