a cry.

I've always been the peace keeper.
Even when I am far away. I am alright with this. Last Sunday morning I had a flood of worship songs come into my head when I woke up. We sang those later that morning in a smallish living room with a smallish group of people with our smallish voices. I am learning this, although I have a voice, it is smaller than I thought it was. My vain self is beginning to realize how totalitarian it is, and pieces of me have begun to chip off. The bad pieces that is. I have a secret(at the moment) that is making me better; and it is not coming about by reading many religious books or praying for countless hours that I would become good enough, or even helping the homeless man on the side of the road. It is something growing inside me. Many times we do not comprehend how vain and selfish we are. Who are we to tell the weather what it needs to do, or tell our bodies to look skinnier, or even to boast of the knowledge that has accumulated in our heads? We did not create the heavens, or design a cell, or even construct a brain. Someone else did. Selfishly, I want every possible thing in my life to be about me. It shouldn't be that way though. I want everyone to have my views in my life, and to listen to my answers to their problems. All of this silly stuff. There isn't any other name for it. Stuff. Vanity is the stuff that I don't need. The stuff I do not want. My life is not more important than another persons. God cares for and cherishes that one person just the same as He does for me. So why do I think that I am any better than another human being? My friends. We need to stop this pride. We are people and we are family.
God give me strength to love better. To love more. To love deep.
I hope this is the cry of your hearts as well.
ria.

"For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity;but God is the one you must fear." Ecclesiastes 5:7

strawberry cake.

Before Nathan left for school this morning, he set up the recording gear for me. I made a little music, didn't get very far without him though. Sometimes I think I have the whole music thing figured out, and then I am reminded that I need my husband. He is a part of the music I write.  I love him.

After finishing up a small song, I decided I needed to make a cake. Something with strawberry icing. I am pretty darn excited to eat this cake that is in my oven. I am making a cake in my crappy oven. This is cool. Also, I feel very wife like at the moment. Listening to Christmas music in my polka dot apron. Fun.

The sky is gorgeous. Blue with those fluffy white tuff clouds. The ones that look like bunny tails. Leaves are ALL over our backyard. I love it.

I love life. This morning Nathan read his Steve Jobs biography and I read Shakespeare. It was a delicious morning.

I am learning particularly a lot about loving my husband and being patient with him. I am also learning how to be patient with myself. God is so good. I keep writing this, and then I ask myself, 'really? is He?'. I always retort back with a excited 'YES'. Too many wonderful things are going on for me to say no. Life is more beautiful every single day.
I love living.

I'll post some pictures of my cake when it is all done.
ria.

women's briefs.

Yesterday I came home with a 10 pack of these babies. I was pretty shocked when I opened up the package. I didn't think I was old enough for these kind of 'panties'. After 15 minutes of looking for a package of all black cotton underwear, I settled for the '4th of July' themed ones. This is what I get for picking such ridiculous colors. I only bought the package for the two crazy printed ones. Failed to take note of the lady's briefs scrolled across the front. This is what I get for shopping at wal-mart. Heck oui!.

These will be returned in a few days. After a few more uses.

Just kidding! I did not try them on. I was very tempted, but it didn't happen. Nothing to see here.

Ha.

On a more serious note, I've been learning how to be a good wife. You know, I went into marriage thinking that I was going to know how to be a good wife. All natural. Even though some things do come easier, others I need to learn. Mostly how to balance my time, and get the things done that need to be done. Like painting a table white. I'm going to try and do that today. Things like making the bed and making sure EVERY dish is done takes a little more effort though. Especially laundry. We have a laundry mat right around the corner from us; however laundry takes the heck out of me..its all the waitin'. Waiting for jeans to dry is the worst ever. I should just bring a book. Crazy Love has been my current read btw. In the midst of all these things, I am learning to be a good wife. This feel good.

Our alarm went off at 7:30 this morning. I blundered around to turn off the awful cell phone sound. Then I proceeded to wake Nathan up with a few kisses...it is hard for him to wake up without kisses, and I like kissing him, so I think this is a good deal. Then we exchange 'good mornings' and tell each other our dreams. Telling dreams are super fun, but the kissing is still my favourite. Then I slapped his butt and told him to get in the shower. He did and then I start with my wifely duties : making the bed & making us breakfast. I brew some espresso. We got this new trader joe's coffee that Nathan wanted to try, so I made that. Grind, cold water, screw on, turn up the heat. Then I made breakfast burritos, washed some grapes, and proceeded to make a dark chocolate breve for my favourite man. We enjoyed breakfast together. Then he went off to Physics class. Such a smart husband I married. I love seeing him work things out. I find it especially funny when he laughs at his calculus homework. I think he is the most adorable husband ever. I love him.

All this being said, I feel like a good wife this morning. Some days are better than others, but this morning was a very good one. Top of the line to ya.
I have a hunch that all the single ladies are going through the same kind of thing. I was a single lady a while ago, I haven't forgotten all about that. When you wake up in the morning, don't put your worth in who you are or what you do, that isn't going to get you anywhere..it will only lead to depression and self-pity, because we all mess up or don't measure up. My question to you though, why are you trying to measure up? We are covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. So we need not measure up to anything or anyone, because we can't. Only in Jesus are we made perfect. Don't sit around thinking about everything that you could be, or everything that you are not. Just be. Be seated with Christ in the midst of His heart. There is no other place that is more exciting and lovely.

To all of the women who feel like they don't know what the heck to do with themselves : chill out. Enjoy the special wonders of being a women. Being a wife is fun, but you are so much more than that. You are a beautiful creature, made to do wonderful things. All for one purpose and high calling.

To glorify God.

Much love & laughs,
ria.

trusting Jesus.

We expect that which we do not know.
My advise to you today: don't try to control things.
This includes all persons, all pieces of artwork, and all parts of life.
Let the Spirit move.
Enjoy it. Feel God move.
Trust.
Trust in the Saviour that stole you from the grave. Don't let your heart grow weary in well doing.
This is what God has been teaching me lately.
My husband reminded me of this yesterday, and I couldn't agree with him more.
The Divine One is so beautiful.
love.
ria.