due.

Baby n. is due today. I'm not sure if she will come today, but soon for sure. Mama's body has got a feeling. The hubby has a ton of work to do, so I am just at home resting and reading and eating copious amounts of homemade bread. I wrote my child a letter. First one. I'm pretty excited about her coming into this world. I even wrote her a little lullaby all her own. Which, maybe wasn't the best idea because now my eyes and nose have become a leaky faucet. I love my bebe like crazy and she isn't even here yet. Mothers kept telling me about how their hearts exploded when they met their babies. I think I know what they are talking about now...at least I've got the gist of it. Motherhood is coming like a freight train. What will I even do with myself?
I am excited for this new adventure. God has blessed my little family more abundantly than I could have ever imagined. My heart is His forever. I pray He steals your heart as well. Knowing God is so much more than what it seems to be. The deepness of relationship with the Creator is a gorgeous revelation of life. No one can truly live without knowing Him. To know God is to love Him.
"because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." psalm 63:3
-a.

beach.

my love and i had a marvelous sunday at the beach a few weekends ago. i was tired from a long week, and nathan decided it would be best for us to get away. i love day trips, but being pregnant i got a bit car sick on the windy road there...i quickly recovered after a small rest in safeway and some artichoke hummus. we made it to a little trailhead and decided to hike into hobbit beach. .5 miles of fun and cold feet(my husband lent me his sock though) we made it through the overgrown walls and out into a small cove with a view of the vast ocean. we laid on the beach and wrote in our journals despite the somewhat rainy weather. it was so refreshing.
ria.

taking courage by the neck.

I was made to be a pregnant woman.
I sat in the bath today contemplating the joy that comes from being pregnant. To myself I said 'I want to be pregnant all the time!'..that is..without the 1st trimester. I have already forgotten the sickness and tears that came with that dreaded trimester. I didn't know what I was getting myself into though. I feel great now. I am one happy prego lady. Usually.

Today Nat and I were thinking about our baby. She has been kicking a lot. I usually laugh and say, 'baby n. is kicking!'..then Nat tries to feel. Sometimes he does. Having Baby in my womb is seriously the coolest most delightful thing I have ever done in my entire life. Babies are a gift.

Which made me think.

I did not know what I was missing. Pregnancy is such a gift. A beautiful 'this is something I long for' gift.  You don't know that though, until you feel a living soul turn inside you. I used to be one vain woman before baby n. was conceived. Every once in a while I fall into my old patterns of self and mirrors, but things have changed now. Now that a living child is in me growing, my thoughts are directed towards her. Her care. What she needs. What kind of mother I am going to be. Nutrition. Exercise(which needs to be a more active word in my vocabulary). My relationship with my husband. My relationship with my God. It is beautiful. Solomon was right when he said vanity was vain, or something along those lines. I didn't know I could care so much. Having a baby in my womb is also helping me to love my husband better. To forgive faster. To rejoice more. To be encouraging. To enhance his life with my life. It is delightful what a child brings into your life before she is even born. I love my husband more every single day. We are so happy to be able to bring this soul into the world. All of this being said, dear women, do not be afraid to have children. You will be blessed beyond measure. I feel like God has just been dripping His grace down on us like honey. We are so filled and warmed and satisfied.

It is a sad lie that we convince ourselves of, that children will somehow disable us from living a full life. 

Some of my friends would prefer to have children later on in their marriages. This is neither wrong nor ridiculous. Some couples should wait to have children. Enjoy each other. Rejoice in the wife of your youth! Travel. Make love! Have fun. Don't let fear stop you from having children though. Children are an intense blessing.

I am very much looking forward to a house full of lovely faces that bear my husbands rugged features and dazzling eyes. As long as all the girls get my nose.

love.
ria.

Uganda.

This is my sister.
I am pretty proud of her.
Enjoy this video that my hubby put together. He did such an amazing job!
So missing the snow now.

lbdproject.blogspot.com

ria.

a cry.

I've always been the peace keeper.
Even when I am far away. I am alright with this. Last Sunday morning I had a flood of worship songs come into my head when I woke up. We sang those later that morning in a smallish living room with a smallish group of people with our smallish voices. I am learning this, although I have a voice, it is smaller than I thought it was. My vain self is beginning to realize how totalitarian it is, and pieces of me have begun to chip off. The bad pieces that is. I have a secret(at the moment) that is making me better; and it is not coming about by reading many religious books or praying for countless hours that I would become good enough, or even helping the homeless man on the side of the road. It is something growing inside me. Many times we do not comprehend how vain and selfish we are. Who are we to tell the weather what it needs to do, or tell our bodies to look skinnier, or even to boast of the knowledge that has accumulated in our heads? We did not create the heavens, or design a cell, or even construct a brain. Someone else did. Selfishly, I want every possible thing in my life to be about me. It shouldn't be that way though. I want everyone to have my views in my life, and to listen to my answers to their problems. All of this silly stuff. There isn't any other name for it. Stuff. Vanity is the stuff that I don't need. The stuff I do not want. My life is not more important than another persons. God cares for and cherishes that one person just the same as He does for me. So why do I think that I am any better than another human being? My friends. We need to stop this pride. We are people and we are family.
God give me strength to love better. To love more. To love deep.
I hope this is the cry of your hearts as well.
ria.

"For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity;but God is the one you must fear." Ecclesiastes 5:7

better.

It is the morning after. I feel relieved. Nathan and I didn't have internet last night, so we patiently awaited this morning. I walked down to vero, ordered my soy chai, and then logged onto facebook. My feed opened with an instagram from my sister. "Day after speech.." was the title, or something like that. You could barely tell that it was Obama's face in the pixelated screen. I logged onto cnn. He had won.
I felt peace. I do not wish to endorse my political views on this blog, but I do wish that people would be more kind when it comes to just regaining a president. That is all I have to say about that.
Today is a navy blue saltwater sandals + grey socks kind of day. Shopping for kitchen towels since I only have one. I need more than one. Seriously. I think I'll order some from Ikea.
I love my husband.
I love this day.
ria.

measuring.

It is dreary outside. Grey skies and stuff like that. I've been thinking about holly and christmas songs though, so it isn't so bad. I've been reading books like crazy. I feel like I'm ten again and I love to read...marriage does fun things to you. The ground outside our little home it covered in yellow and orange. I am in love with it. Fall is so gorgeous. I always have to ask myself why this isn't my favourite season. Maybe it is. My hair is still wet from the shower I took this morning. My neck is still cold.
I am doing laundry at my in-laws. Very thankful for this, but looking forward to having my own washer and dryer. Those things come with age I guess. Can't have everything at first, I am ok with this.
Part of me wants a set of orange ones. Just sayin'.
Happiest joy going out to lovely Kirsten and her beloved Sam. They get married in two days. I am so excited about this. I just love marriage. It is so exciting. Honestly. A lot of times we tend to think that our lives are going great and we don't need anyone to share it with, but in my experience, having someone to share life with makes it all the more better. Life is a mundane chore without the people you love. God made it that way I think, so we can love one another is the deepest way possible.
More on marriage later. I'm still enjoying it too much to write about it. I am certain though, I have the best husband of them all.
I need to do some grocery shopping now, and finish the laundry.
Measuring joy would be too hard to do at this moment.
Much love..
ria.

sheets

Nathan has a Calculus midterm today. Midterms are always hard...for everyone. I feel for him. I am so thankful that my babes is going to school for us. He is a special friend to me. He ate cheerios with honey this morning while I made him two sandwiches. I made white bread the other day. It turned out quite good. Not exactly like my mother's though. I miss my mother's cooking. Her soups especially...the beef stew. So good. And her pies. I want her pie so bad. I just can't pull it off like she can. Mom, thanks for all the good food over the years.
After Nathan left I made myself a cup of 'bluebird' tea with honey. Downloaded a bunch of free music. Got some ideas for christmas gifts. Thinking about a christmas album. Little drummer boy running through my head. It smelled like christmas this morning..like wood burning fires..I think it was just the homeless man in the alley smoking though. We have a holly tree down our alley. I think I'm going to cut some of it and put it in our little bud vases. Our gerber daisies are molding anyway. This will be the first Christmas I get to kiss my hubby.

I am more than just a little excited.

My plants are growing wild. One is trying to die, but I keep telling it to make it. I'd be too sad if he died. One of my succulents has tripled in height...I wonder if this is normal. I think he wants to be planted in a bigger pot or something.

Today is change the sheets day. This is what I want for Christmas. Nice sheets. We didn't get any for our wedding, and although I am very thankful for the purple floret ones that a nice old lady gave us, I still want some crisp new sheets. Every time I go to Target I wish they would be on sale, but they are always $50+ . Why does life have to be so expensive sometimes?
That reminds me. Rent is due.
God has been so gracious to us. My new job is just now starting, and still we are able to pay our rent. Things haven't been that tight. I am so thankful. My husband is a hard working man. <3 I love him.

Enjoy your day. I will.
Loves.
ria.

Depth of heart.

this was taken by my sister Mandy.

I am trying to decide which part of the house I should tackle next. I've been under the weather this week. Cold and all. I finally cleaned up the kitchen. My love dove has been trying to keep it clean, he has been doing such a wonderful job, but he has a lot of homework and work to do, so I made myself clean it this morning. He is away teaching Spanish right now, so it should be a nice surprise for him when he comes home. I think I will tackle the living room next. The floor is a smattering of Persian rug, minty gum, and thank you notes that I have been working on. I hand cut, hand drew them all. We are going to watercolor them next. I am pretty excited about these cute little postcards.

I laid in bed all morning yesterday. I felt awful. Listened to sermons while Nat was at school. God and I had a good talk yesterday. I have been feeling disconnected. All of these spiritual things going on, all of these bills that need to be payed, all these people who need to be pleased. I had a heart full of thankfulness though. All of these pressing matters didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore. That is what happens when you are in the presence of God. Everything just kind of fades off into a depth of field...just like a photograph. If you lack depth in a photo, then it isn't as riveting or heart stopping. Nothing is really exciting about it if you can't feel what is going on in the picture. My sister has been taking these really inspiring photos. Just of flowers, but if you really look at the picture, it comes to life, and for just one second, nothing else matters. God is like that in our lives. He just stops everything, and we can enjoy Him, despite what we are going through, who is discouraging us, and what we have failed at. He is very very good. All the time.

Lots of new ideas have been making their way into this mind of mine. I am going to see what I can do about them.
In the meantime, make sure you take your multi-vitamins and kiss your husbands.
Much love...
ria.

women's briefs.

Yesterday I came home with a 10 pack of these babies. I was pretty shocked when I opened up the package. I didn't think I was old enough for these kind of 'panties'. After 15 minutes of looking for a package of all black cotton underwear, I settled for the '4th of July' themed ones. This is what I get for picking such ridiculous colors. I only bought the package for the two crazy printed ones. Failed to take note of the lady's briefs scrolled across the front. This is what I get for shopping at wal-mart. Heck oui!.

These will be returned in a few days. After a few more uses.

Just kidding! I did not try them on. I was very tempted, but it didn't happen. Nothing to see here.

Ha.

On a more serious note, I've been learning how to be a good wife. You know, I went into marriage thinking that I was going to know how to be a good wife. All natural. Even though some things do come easier, others I need to learn. Mostly how to balance my time, and get the things done that need to be done. Like painting a table white. I'm going to try and do that today. Things like making the bed and making sure EVERY dish is done takes a little more effort though. Especially laundry. We have a laundry mat right around the corner from us; however laundry takes the heck out of me..its all the waitin'. Waiting for jeans to dry is the worst ever. I should just bring a book. Crazy Love has been my current read btw. In the midst of all these things, I am learning to be a good wife. This feel good.

Our alarm went off at 7:30 this morning. I blundered around to turn off the awful cell phone sound. Then I proceeded to wake Nathan up with a few kisses...it is hard for him to wake up without kisses, and I like kissing him, so I think this is a good deal. Then we exchange 'good mornings' and tell each other our dreams. Telling dreams are super fun, but the kissing is still my favourite. Then I slapped his butt and told him to get in the shower. He did and then I start with my wifely duties : making the bed & making us breakfast. I brew some espresso. We got this new trader joe's coffee that Nathan wanted to try, so I made that. Grind, cold water, screw on, turn up the heat. Then I made breakfast burritos, washed some grapes, and proceeded to make a dark chocolate breve for my favourite man. We enjoyed breakfast together. Then he went off to Physics class. Such a smart husband I married. I love seeing him work things out. I find it especially funny when he laughs at his calculus homework. I think he is the most adorable husband ever. I love him.

All this being said, I feel like a good wife this morning. Some days are better than others, but this morning was a very good one. Top of the line to ya.
I have a hunch that all the single ladies are going through the same kind of thing. I was a single lady a while ago, I haven't forgotten all about that. When you wake up in the morning, don't put your worth in who you are or what you do, that isn't going to get you anywhere..it will only lead to depression and self-pity, because we all mess up or don't measure up. My question to you though, why are you trying to measure up? We are covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. So we need not measure up to anything or anyone, because we can't. Only in Jesus are we made perfect. Don't sit around thinking about everything that you could be, or everything that you are not. Just be. Be seated with Christ in the midst of His heart. There is no other place that is more exciting and lovely.

To all of the women who feel like they don't know what the heck to do with themselves : chill out. Enjoy the special wonders of being a women. Being a wife is fun, but you are so much more than that. You are a beautiful creature, made to do wonderful things. All for one purpose and high calling.

To glorify God.

Much love & laughs,
ria.

dancing on a note.

Today fall came.
I am glad it has come.
Choppy weather full of distressed clouds, and smells of pumpkin and cinnamon sticks are all here.
And now? I am awaiting the leaves' change of colour. Yellows and oranges and reds have been taking over my daydreams.

Tomorrow I should start on the hat making. This will be the first winter that my husband will sport a hat made by me. Such a joyous occasion for two little lovebirds. I am quite looking forward to this.

On a more serious note, God taught me something about myself today. A harsh thing. With certain peoples I am a certain way. God has shown me not to be this way. This is going to be a challenge for me, but hey...I'll come out a stronger woman because of this. Not going to lie, this sounds like something beautiful.

And by the way..I have the best planet of a man...er...best man on the planet. He is full of a humble servant's heart & it inspires me. I want to be just like him when I grow up.
He is such a loving husband. I could not have asked God for anything better.

God is good at giving us the best. He is such a loving and faithful Father.
I want to dance for Him.

love.ria.