other mothers.

I was going through my drafts and I found this one from last year. It so happens to be about fall and change. A perfect topic for the current season. One thing that I would like to say is that I no longer feel like I want to be the 'other' mother. I have found a content spot in life, and I could not ask for more. My heart is full to the brim. If there is anyone who cannot find a content spot in life, send me a little message. I would love to encourage you with words of wisdom that I have gleaned from my twenty-five years. It hurts my heart to know that some of you may have 'cloud over my head' point of view when it comes to life. Being alive is so much more than that. So much more. Much love.
-a

A good day is not one in which nothing bad happens. A good day is when you find contentment even in the small and mundane task of becoming the person you are.

Fall is here.
We are loving the weather. The rain. The pockets of sunshine. Let's just say I am thankful that I no longer need to break a sweat while watching my daughter draw chalk outside on our front stoop. When I was younger, I dreaded fall. The impending thought of all the schoolwork I would have to do just made my feet itch. Now that I am a grown woman, fall is like a hidden gem. Or some would say it was like a pumpkin spice latte..but that sounds too cliche for me. I can't even explain what happens to my soul when the air gains its crispness back. It feels like a poem.

Speaking of poems and souls, I have had something on my mind. Many things actually, but I will just share this one as to not confuse potting herbs and cleaning bathroom floors and listening to Japanese Ska. The other night, while giving my daughter her bath, I was thinking about who we are as people. To me it is like we have become the trends that we make. We work so hard to look good. I realized that I work so hard to look good. For some reason there is incessant desire in me to be the better person. I see other mothers and I want to be them. Their hair, their baskets, their throws, all of theirs. I hardly ever just want to be all of me. I smiled at my daughter and thought to myself,

'Claire wants all of me. She doesn't know anyone like her very own mother. She loves me because I am her mother. I was just there. I am who she knows.'

A piece of me just cracked. To love who you are is a very hard thing. To except the challenges before you is difficult. There is always work to be done, but we are making ourselves work harder than we ever have to. Trying to transform yourself, not to mention your entire life, into someone else? An endless hard task.

Then I began to think about my husband, and how I love him for who he is. Not who I want him to be, or who he is going to become. I just love him for being him. The person he is now is delightful and I want to enjoy that. We are both ever changing, and that is the beauty of the seasons. There is a time for this and there is a time for that, but right now is the time for this moment. Take hold of it and embrace it for what it is.

camp(ing)

We arrived home from a weekend long camping trip this afternoon. It was nice to be in the midst of nature for a change. We went with a group of dear friends to a small campground on the Oregon coast. It was terribly cold, and I had under packed because I was expecting some 80 degree weather. With a trip to fred meyer our problem was solved. I spent the weekend walking around in long underwear and my husband's jacket. Nathan was such a mountain man the whole time. Playing with knives and chopping wood, I enjoyed watching him flow with nature so gracefully. Claire was a darling on her first camping trip. She slept through the night and played in the dirt. She loved the little creek that was next to our campsite. My little baby loves nature so much. Watching her observe how the trees sway in the wind or how the ocean rolls in is such a gift. She helps me to slow down and appreciate the quiet moments. Our little trip has refreshed my soul. I am so tired, but it was all worth it. I cherish these times that I get to spend with my little family. Each new adventure is just as special as the one previous. 

Above is a picture of my husband whittling as we were getting ready to leave for home. This is one of my favorite photographs I have ever taken. 

-a.

Smush.

Here is a smushed up version of what I have been up to.

 

We had a fabulous weekend. My sister Bellis and my friend Jen came to visit. We hadn't seen Bell for a month and it was exciting to hear about everything going on in her new hometown. She also brought the cutest pink chair you may ever see for Clairethepeach. It's tiny and pretty much amazing. I hadn't seen Jen for an entire year because she has been traveling all over the world! She missed my wedding, which was super sad, but she was having too much fun running around China and Argentina and a bunch of other places. I was super glad she got to meet bebe. <3 

We ran around town while my husband filmed a documentary for Wholesome Family Farms. Which, by the way, provides the most amazing raw dairy to the locals around Eugene. Raw milk is good for your gut and a bunch of other things. Also...I can't drink conventional milk. It really messes with my body..raw milk though..it's a dream. Support a local farmer with some raw milk love. More on that later though....

I taught myself how to make artisan bread. I also made my own sourdough starter. I felt like a superhero or something with that fermenting thing on my counter. Sometimes the things we think are the hardest turn out to be the easiest. Basically you put flour and water in a bowl and let it sit on the counter for 5 days. Ridiculous. Also, did you know some sourdough starters are over 100 years old? Maybe your great grandma was one of those women to decide to let flour and water sit on the counter for a bit. Common..there is something pretty romantic about a 100 year old sour starter. (;

Mrs.Meyers has the best hand soap ever..I practically want to ingest the honeysuckle scented kind. 

I've also been getting my latte art on in the mornings with higher ground coffee company. Need a portable barista? Call us.

This week I'll be posting some beauty regiments of mine. I've been slowly and gradually wading into the huge pool of natural beauty and health...what do Apple cider, rose scented soap, and almond oil all have in common? You will find out!

Love to you all! 

-a.

new

It is an over sized navy blue sweater & beer waffles kind of morning.
It is a throw in the towel and eat breakfast before I do the dishes kind of morning.
It is a this is why i love my husband morning.

I love my husband, because his default is to always make me laugh. No matter what mood I am in. This might seem like it could be detrimental to our relationship, but really, it has been the best thing for me. I am reminded every day that the trying circumstance I may be in at the time, will always pass. It is best to laugh at a good joke, we are after all, supposed to be anxious for nothing. My husband helps me to see this. Also, laughter grows two together.
I love my husband because he is inspired, and that inspires me. When I was single, I would always start projects and rarely finish them. Now, projects are completed. I am inspired by my husbands work ethic and his ability to complete the hardest assignments I've ever seen in my life.
I love my husband because he buys&picks me flowers regularly.
I love my husband because he can cook me dinner by himself, and he makes better salad & dressing than I do.
I love my husband because right now, as I write, he is on a run. Ode to health.
I love my husband, because of the little things he says. He never preaches at me, is always slow to speak, and always has profound things coming out of his mouth. God speaks to him in such a special way. Nuggets of wisdom worth gold. Plus, I remember the things he tells me. My husband can write a wonderful sermon, but he can encourage me with minimal words. It is a very special gift he has.
I love my husband because he works hard.
I love my husband because he appreciates me. Some mornings I make my way to the kitchen while he is still sleeping and make us breakfast. He always lavishes me with words of love and praise.
I love my husband because of how he loves God. Passion is present, even when I can't see it. Growth is abundant in his life. I love that we can grow together, and even though we are at different stages of walking with God, we can always enjoy the Father together. There is a special intimacy in knowing Christ together.
But most of all..
I love my husband, because I love him.

ria.

rest.

Sorry for such a long season of "unposting". It seems there is barely time in this busy schedule of life. Then I am reminded that I have all the time in the world. Maybe the house doesn't need to be picked up right this minute, or the dishes done at 10:00 p.m. Maybe I just need to rest. So that is what I have been doing. We often forget how to rest. It is the business and perfection of life that smashes us to a pulp. As a result, I am trying to rest more, which hasn't included much writing. I promise to catch up.

I am 32 weeks and 1 day today. Baby n. moves and squirms just like she should, and apparently I am supposed to gain 1 1/2 lbs. every week for the next 8 weeks. So crazy that she is almost here.

I'm going to have a morning grapefruit now. My husband is shouting from the bedroom for me. It is 6:51 in the morning, and he is just making sure I am ok. <3
 Loves,
ria.

beach.

my love and i had a marvelous sunday at the beach a few weekends ago. i was tired from a long week, and nathan decided it would be best for us to get away. i love day trips, but being pregnant i got a bit car sick on the windy road there...i quickly recovered after a small rest in safeway and some artichoke hummus. we made it to a little trailhead and decided to hike into hobbit beach. .5 miles of fun and cold feet(my husband lent me his sock though) we made it through the overgrown walls and out into a small cove with a view of the vast ocean. we laid on the beach and wrote in our journals despite the somewhat rainy weather. it was so refreshing.
ria.

in a pregnant woman's mind.

Today Nathan and I had a sort of 'doctors' appointment. A nice man, that reminded me of Mark Driscoll, pricked my finger to measure my iron levels. I am ALMOST up to par. He said I better be eating my greens and possibly even go get some liver. I've never had liver in my life. Maybe it's good. He wrapped a bugs bunny bandaid around my middle finger and we called it good. Then Nathan and I ran some monetary errands and I dropped him off to meet with his computer science buddies. Smart cookie he is. People are so nice to you when you are pregnant. I can't get over it. Seriously. It's kind of fun. I wonder what having a baby is going to be like. Ha. I do feel like I am coming down with a cold though...which is not good. I still have 8 days for my flu shot to fully kick in. Did you know I spent an entire afternoon looking for a preservative free flu shot and I only found three? After calling every single store that supplied flu shots in the area, I found one. It was a serious God thing. They should have been gone, because I had to wait an hour for my hubby to come home and get me, and then take me all the way to target. I got one though. Also, my husband bought me a nice pair of mittens and brought me a sample from the starbucks up front while I waited for the prick of dead virus. I think the finger prick this morning was worse than the flu shot, but maybe I'm wrong.
I love being pregnant though. Baby n. kicks all the time and it is pretty heartwarming and thrilling. Daddy felt her kick for the first time Saturday. She is getting strong.
I'm going to get my haircut next week. Kind of nervous about it. What if the stylist wrecks my hair, and I have a meltdown in front of her because I'm pregnant? I have faith though. Hopefully I'll look like a pregnant supermodel by the end of the appointment. I mean, I already do, but this should make me more 'supermodelisious' for my hubby. He thinks I'm pretty dang sexy. He is pretty dang sexy. Does this mean we are going to have a pretty dang sexy baby?

Ok. I've got to rest my eyes a bit. We are having quesadillas and steamed vegetables for dinner tonight. Kind of excited I can eat cheese now that I am pregnant.
O, and I gained 1 pound. Not bad.
loves,
ria.