Blackberry bush.

The heart. We think we understand it. We have quite a handle on it scientifically. We can fix a heart, or try to. We can pump blood into it and keep it alive if we need to. We cannot fathom the depths of it though. This week has been really challenging for my heart. There have been prickly little blackberry thorns stinging me in certain places that I have not traveled. Overgrown and wild these blackberries have slowed my steps, and I've had to step back and think, 'how shall I prune these crazy things?'. 

Nathan has been working so hard lately. He has a project at work that is due this week, and we can all feel the tension and anticipation. I admit, I have been a needy wife. Why is it whenever someone needs you to be patient and kind, it seems to be during a very hard week? My patience has quit several times, and I regret each one. After having a particularly hard day yesterday, Claire took her first steps before bed. It was special and surreal and fast. My baby can walk on her own now. Her daddy then took her and brushed her teeth, changed her diaper and then got her to fall asleep like a dream. No tears. Just a gentle rock from her dad and she was out like a light. I went to bed feeling rather sad and depressed because my baby is growing up. She didn't even need her mommy cuddles to fall asleep. I am so proud of my little darling, but it is hard for me to move through these special moments so quickly. A year goes by ridiculously fast. I fell into tears feeling badly for the way I had conducted myself, and then to receive such a gift as my daughter's first steps? It was overwhelming. My husband accepted my tea and sympathy, and we drifted off. Not before I could sneak into baby's room to steal one last look at her though.

I am grateful to be a wife.a mother.a daughter.a sister. 

It is all a gift. 

Cherish it.

With my heart. 

-a.

strawberry cake.

Before Nathan left for school this morning, he set up the recording gear for me. I made a little music, didn't get very far without him though. Sometimes I think I have the whole music thing figured out, and then I am reminded that I need my husband. He is a part of the music I write.  I love him.

After finishing up a small song, I decided I needed to make a cake. Something with strawberry icing. I am pretty darn excited to eat this cake that is in my oven. I am making a cake in my crappy oven. This is cool. Also, I feel very wife like at the moment. Listening to Christmas music in my polka dot apron. Fun.

The sky is gorgeous. Blue with those fluffy white tuff clouds. The ones that look like bunny tails. Leaves are ALL over our backyard. I love it.

I love life. This morning Nathan read his Steve Jobs biography and I read Shakespeare. It was a delicious morning.

I am learning particularly a lot about loving my husband and being patient with him. I am also learning how to be patient with myself. God is so good. I keep writing this, and then I ask myself, 'really? is He?'. I always retort back with a excited 'YES'. Too many wonderful things are going on for me to say no. Life is more beautiful every single day.
I love living.

I'll post some pictures of my cake when it is all done.
ria.

sheets

Nathan has a Calculus midterm today. Midterms are always hard...for everyone. I feel for him. I am so thankful that my babes is going to school for us. He is a special friend to me. He ate cheerios with honey this morning while I made him two sandwiches. I made white bread the other day. It turned out quite good. Not exactly like my mother's though. I miss my mother's cooking. Her soups especially...the beef stew. So good. And her pies. I want her pie so bad. I just can't pull it off like she can. Mom, thanks for all the good food over the years.
After Nathan left I made myself a cup of 'bluebird' tea with honey. Downloaded a bunch of free music. Got some ideas for christmas gifts. Thinking about a christmas album. Little drummer boy running through my head. It smelled like christmas this morning..like wood burning fires..I think it was just the homeless man in the alley smoking though. We have a holly tree down our alley. I think I'm going to cut some of it and put it in our little bud vases. Our gerber daisies are molding anyway. This will be the first Christmas I get to kiss my hubby.

I am more than just a little excited.

My plants are growing wild. One is trying to die, but I keep telling it to make it. I'd be too sad if he died. One of my succulents has tripled in height...I wonder if this is normal. I think he wants to be planted in a bigger pot or something.

Today is change the sheets day. This is what I want for Christmas. Nice sheets. We didn't get any for our wedding, and although I am very thankful for the purple floret ones that a nice old lady gave us, I still want some crisp new sheets. Every time I go to Target I wish they would be on sale, but they are always $50+ . Why does life have to be so expensive sometimes?
That reminds me. Rent is due.
God has been so gracious to us. My new job is just now starting, and still we are able to pay our rent. Things haven't been that tight. I am so thankful. My husband is a hard working man. <3 I love him.

Enjoy your day. I will.
Loves.
ria.

treesofwater.

this was a wedding present. i love it. watercolor.